I love my husband and we are truly best friends but when we get into one of our arguments about something meaningless in a “drive me crazy” kind of way; I need to head for the hills.

Let me clarify:

I need a “Marriage Travel Time Out”.

I need to take a trip somewhere far and away from everything that relates to my routine life and get to know myself a little better as one instead of two.

Many of our friends have split up and it’s confusing and complicated. It’s hurtful and it’s life changing and there are words and actions you can’t take back.

So by venturing out on a solo trip once a year, I believe we save our marriage and friendship and the life we have built together.

My most recent getaway was planned by my travel agent who knows me well and understood when I told her I was not looking for a traditional vacation. I knew that I wanted to go to Alaska and that I didn’t want to take a cruise through the Inside Passage. 

Nor was I interested in the big city of Anchorage. I wanted to have my own private guides to take me sea kayaking among fjords and hiking through lush green valleys. I wanted to view Grizzly Bears and moose. I wanted to hang out in a local pub and meet new people. I wanted to explore crafts and culinary markets and sample native remedies for my aching body and mineral deprived skin.

And that is exactly what I did.

I spent my sweet summer days in the outdoors with the sun barely going down. I lived in an attic apartment with slanted ceilings and a skylight that provided an amazing view of the stars at night. There was a futon to sleep on and a desk by some old wooden shelves filled with books about climbing, hiking, glacier mountaineering and all of the Jack London classics.

My meals were served downstairs in the town pub. It was hearty food in grand portions featuring homemade stews, slow cooked BBQ rubbed ribs and the best spicy shoe string French Fries I have tasted on this side of taste bud delight.

They brewed their own white wheat and honey red beer and served it up in refrigerated mugs the size of a horse trough.

I earned every calorie as my days were spent hiking, climbing, kayaking, mountain biking and swimming in a clear blue stream.

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All of the noise from home – the TV blasting, the arguments about trivial matters that  managed to eat me up inside and make me angry for days, the phone ringing, the cell phone vibrating, the emails, the texts, the Facebook alerts and the Tweets all came to a blinding halt and suddenly there was nothing but silence.

Four hours into my final day hike, the guide and I stopped by a glacier fed lake to enjoy a picnic lunch. The sun was shifting over the mountain peak, the wildflowers were dancing in the wind in what seemed to be a thousand flowing fields, the birds were chirping and I had this sense of being connected to all of those I had loved and lost in this world. 

It was as if they were visiting, enjoying the same peace and purity and telling me they were there if only for a brief moment as the breeze brushed my cheek and shadows formed against the rock wall across the way.

And then there was nothing.

That day, that moment, that magical time I spent in Alaska served as proof that sometimes getting away is about silence and sun sets and reconnecting with nature as a detour to reconnecting with one self.

Sometimes it’s about going back to basics and simplifying your life as a reminder of where you started in finding one another and where you may go in continuing to discover one another and the undeniable truth that love is complicated and beautiful in all its forms and all its wonder.


And that is what a "Marriage Travel Time Out" is all about.

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