I most recently flew just last week, and by the time I reached the airport — at 8:05 am, meaning I had to get up around four, thank you very much — I was already exhausted, and my flight wasn’t even delayed yet, which felt suspicious. At check-in, a cheerful sign announced: “ALL BAGS MUST WEIGH LESS THAN A SENSE OF OPTIMISM.” I wasn’t sure what that meant, but the desk agent sighed, slapped a sticker on my bag, and whispered, “Good luck out there.”
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