Living in Zurich, for ages I'd heard about the legendary Bernese – my partner had told me that a study had shown that they, among all Swiss, walk the slowest (how this study was conducted I cannot imagine). I had also personally met quite a few specimens back in the classrooms of my English-language school in Malta who spoke with unbearable slowness and seemed to not even have enough energy to properly open their eyes. When I finally got to the country's capital, however... keep reading